To Think Confidently, Act Confidently.
Here is the psychological principle that is worth reading and reading over and over again and again...
To Think Confidently, Act Confidently
As Swami Vivekanand, one of the great Indian Thinker, Sage, Guru, puts it in one of his thought - "We are what our thoughts have made us. So take care about what you think. Words are secondary, thoughts live. They travel far."
Psychologists tell us that we can change our attitudes by changing our physical actions. For example: You will feel more like smiling, if you make yourself smile. You will feel more superior when you stand tall than when you slouch. On the negative side - Make effort to find faults in your best friend or love of our life, you will start hating them in a matter of few days.
You can prove very easily to yourself that Managed Motions can Change Emotions.
People who are shy, introducing themselves, can replace their shyness with confidence just by taking three simple actions:
- Reach out for other person's hand and clasp it warmly
- Look directly at the other person
- Say, I'm very glad to know you.
These three actions, instantly and automatically banishes shyness. Confident actions produce confident thinking.
So, to think confidently, act Confidently. Act the way you want to feel. Following are the five confidence building exercises. Make the conscious effort to practice them to build your confidence.
- Be A Front Seater: Yo u must have noticed in meetings - in classrooms, office meeting rooms and other kind of assemblies - how back seats fill up first? Most people rush to take the back seats first so they won't be "too conspicuous." And the reason they are afraid to be conspicuous is that they lack confidence.
Sitting up front builds confidence. Practice it. From now on make it a rule to sit as close to the front as you can.
2. Practice Making Eye Contact: How a person uses his eyes tells us a lot about him. Instinctively, you ask yourself questions about the fellow who does not look into your eyes - "What is he trying to hide? What is he afraid of? Is he trying to put something over on me? Is he holding something back?
Usually, failure to make proper eye contact says a thing or two about you - "I feel weak besides you" or "I feel inferior to you". or "I'm afraid of you."
Or, avoiding another person's eyes may say - "I feel guilty. I have done something that I do not want you to know. I'm afraid if I have an eye connect with you, you might see through me..."
You do not say anything good about yourself, when you avoid making eye contact.
Make your eyes work for you. Look straight into the eyes of other person and interact. It not only gives you Confidence, It helps you win confidence too.
3. Walk faster than you usually do: Well, I'm a Walk-watcher. Watching people walk is fun. In corridors, in lanes, on the sidewalks, in offices - I love to study humans by watching them walk and move about doing their normal activities.
Psychologists link slovenly postures and sluggish walking to unpleasant attitudes to one self, work and people around us. But psychologists also tell us that you can actually change your attitudes by changing your postures and speed of movement. Watch, and you will discover that your body action is result of your mind action. The extremely beaten person, the real down and out variety just shuffles and stumble along. They have zero self-confidence.
Average People have Average Walk. Their pace is average. The Walk reflects - "I do not have much pride in myself."
The third group is persons with Super-Confidence. They walk faster than the average. There seems to be a slight sprint in the way they walk. Their walks reflects - "I have someplace important to go. Something important to do and I'm looking forward to succeed..
Use the Walk-Faster technique to help yourself build self-confidence. Throw your shoulders back, lift your head up, move ahead a little faster and feel the Self-Confidence Grow.
4. Practice Speaking up: In working with many kinds of groups of all sizes. I have watched many persons with keen perception and much native freeze and fail to participate in discussions. It is not that these people do not want to be part of group or do not know what to say, It is just lack of confidence.
They think of themselves - "My opinion is probably worthless. Others anyway know more that me. I might look foolish." and so on....
Every time he fails to say something, he feels further inferior and worthless. and each time he feels less confident about himself.
On the Positive side, The more you speak the more confident you feel about yourself. The more confident you feel about yourself, more you want to speak and put forward your views in future. So, Speak Up.
So, Next time, put this Confidence Builder in practice - Make it a rule to Speak up at every opening meeting you attend. Speak up, voluntarily, at every business meeting, conference, community forums etc. you attend. Make No Exception. Try to be the first one to speak.
5. Smile Big: You must have heard from many people that the Smile gives them a real boost. They have been told that smile is an excellent medicine for Confidence Deficiency. But a lot of people do not really believe in this because they never tried smiling when they felt fear.
Make this little test. Try to feel defeated and smile big at the same time. You can't. A big smile gives you confidence. A big smile beats fear , rolls away worries, and defeats despondency.
A real big smile makes friends, melts away misunderstandings, irons out insincerity. Another person cannot be angry with you.
Many a times people say that they do feel like smiling when they have fear, when they are angry, when they feel down. Off course you don't feel like smiling, no one does. The trick is to force yourself to smile and then Smile Big..
Harness the Power of Smile.
Closing note is same as the beginning note: To Think Confidently, Act Confidently.
