How to manage - Know Yourself.

 Management is about encouraging and controlling the Behavior of others.

How can we effectively control the behavior of others? I mean, Why will they listen to me? Why will they act or behave according to my wishes and instructions?

Well, I cannot just get people to fall in line with what I want them to do. Definitely not, unless I understand, encourage and control my own behavior first. And if I wish to positively develop the attributes of whom I manage, then Self Knowledge becomes even more important. The two major reasons for this, which I can think of are:

• Attitudes and prejudices learnt throughout our lives, sometimes in totally different contexts, influence what we say or do now, even without knowing it.
• What we say and do can have lasting impact on others, and usually determines the response we get in return.

One of the greatest influences on how we behave with others is the Self Image that we have of ourselves. This also acts as filter, interpreting all the other information our senses feed to us.

Same has been emphasized, in no less words, in our Indian Ethos through texts right from Vedas to today's Gurus and mentors - "Dealing effectively with outside world begins with understanding of ourselves." 

In the year 1970, an American psychiatrist- Thomas A Harris, wrote a best seller on this theme. He published his work in the book named - I'm OK, You are OK.

Using his work, we can identify and map out the position from which we view life.

1. Managers with Life Position "You are ok, I'm OK" feel good about themselves and about their subordinates. As a result a mistake is a learning opportunity which does not threaten but develops the employee and cements the relationship for future.
2. I'm OK, You are Not OK manager has a good opinion about his or her own abilities, but tends to build up his/her image by putting other people down. The manager's subordinates are highly unlikely to admit mistakes in this relationship, and will certainly not learn and develop as a result. Mistrust becomes mutual and when the subordinate tries to hide the mistake, or corrects it ineffectively without guidance,it will further reinforce the manager's view that the subordinate in no good.

However, the good news is once we are aware , we can make a change or course correction. A good boss/manager would want to develop an 'I,m OK, You are OK' relationship with his/her people for the reasons which are central to Effective Management and good results:

• It leads to better judgments when making decisions about delegation, promotion or recruitment.
• It develops trust not only between the boss and the subordinate but between team and department as a whole, and trust is basis of good management as well as staff development.
• It encourages realistically high expectations of a person's ability, which are more likely to be met.
• It enables coaching and counselling to be carried out positively and effectively without judgement.
• It enables honest appraisals of performance to be made, and it can lead to genuine improvements and justified rewards.
• It creates the kind of relation in which boss and subordinates can share the same values and aim for high goals.
• It makes life lot more satisfying for everyone.

As I feel good about me, and I also feel good about you, lets work together to increase the awareness of your life's position, and ways you can change it if you wish.

One thing all of us will need to realize. Whatever is written above applies equally to all of us, and not just the manger or the leader. Whether you are a manager, subordinate, driver, union leader, factory worker, salesman....... This applies to all to effectively manage our respective environment well...

I'm OK, You are OK.