How to Conduct Effective Counselling?

 Counselling techniques are pro-actively used as means of Staff Development or to remove barriers to development.

Counselling is likely to be most effective method of managing a situation in which a subordinate is coming to terms with strong feelings, facing up to reality, and deciding on a course of action which may need a lot of commitment to sustain. The counsellor's role is to provide environment, stimulus and support which enables the subordinate to achieve this on her/his own.

How to Conduct Effective Counselling?

Before you plan to begin with the Counselling session, do take care of following:

• Allow sufficient time and ensure that there are no interruptions from any source.
• Pick a venue that is informal, quiet and comfortable.
• Spend atleast 10 minutes, before counselling session, to review your knowledge of the person.
• Detach your image of the person from common stereotypes.

During your counselling session:

• Do not take not take notes during the interview, as it will create communication barrier. Hence, it will destroy the atmosphere of trust and frankness.
• Your opening remarks have to be warm and general. Prior Rapport will be an added advantage.
• It is important to tune into each other.

There after the Counselling interview can flow through Four stages:

1. Identifying The Problem: Ask them to tell you about the problem. Let them take their time. If necessary, help with simple questions. Listen carefully i.e. Employ Active Listening, which means maintaining regular and friendly, but not piercing, eye contact. So, you need to be aware of non-verbal communication as well. While listening you should not be thinking about - What to say next.

Frequently, the first problem identified and described is the one which they are able to recognize more readily, but there may be underlying problem they have either not realized or they have been avoiding.

Encourage them to look more deeply at the situation, with such questions as:

• What else you think might be causing this?
• Why is it a problem to you?
• What have you tried doing so far?

Working out why earlier actions have not resolved the problem/s, will reveal deeper causes.

Never at any stage in the interview criticize anything that the other person has said or has done by saying. Your intention is to help your subordinate get to the root of his/her problem. Hence, to make judgements about what is revealed in the process is an abuse of trust amounting to Psychological Violence.

It is helpful throughout the interview to paraphrase what has been said occasionally. This reflects back to subordinates the picture they are putting together, and it can help you guide them into next stage. if you think they are ready.

2. Accepting Feelings: Help the individual to recognize and accept the feelings being experienced as a result of the problem with such questions as:

• What did you feel like When.........?
• How do you feel now about..........?

Try to put yourself in other person's shoes with intent of helping the person.

3. Exploring Alternatives: Using the same kind of 'Open Questioning Techniques', encourage the individual to identify alternative responses to the problem. Also, the realistic implications of each alternative. Some of the useful phrases you can use are:

• Have you considered.........?
• What do you thing would happen if......?

But don't rush into solutions/ suggestions until the other person has put in great amount to effort and time to think of as many themselves. They should determine the direction they should follow. Too much direction from you may prevent further development.

4. Making The Decision: This has to be done entirely by the person you are counselling, because he/she has to be fully committed to it. You can help with such questions as:

• When do you have to make the decision?
• What do you think, you will do now?
• When / Where/ How do you think you might do that?

Of course they may decide not to take any action. They may wish to go away and give consideration to option.. But, No advice should be given, or pressure as to How they should decide and act.

There should be enough time to wind down the interview without abrupt stop. The person you are counselling feel satisfaction of having fully explored the problem, and know what personal follow up they need to be doing.

Counselling is not easy, but with practice and training will make you better with sessions and time.

How to Manage Your Boss

 How do you see your Boss - as a boon or a burden?

It is as much your job to create an effective working relationship with your boss it is his/hers. After-all It takes two to tango. If the relationship is poor, you must be at least half the problem. Once you realize this, you can be at least half the solution.

In normal business situations, we do not get to choose our bosses. This is just like the fact that in our personal lives, we usually do not get to choose our relatives. So, unless we want to make life hell for ourselves and our subordinates, damage the company, or move on, we must find means and ways to effectively collaborate with our bosses. This is to achieve their priorities as well as our own, in pursuit of organisational goals.

There are for important things to remember about bosses:

• They are human i.e they are not infallible and have the same needs and hang-ups as rest of us.
• They are dependent on us as we are upon them.
• They have different constraints, pressures and priorities than we have- it is never quite possible to fully appreciate the view their window.
• They have bosses too.

Not only it is in your own interests to maintain an effective working relationship with the bosses, but as manager, you are also a representative of your subordinates in from of your boss as well as organisation. If your have read my previous blog on Knowing Yourself, identifying your strengths and weaknesses. You use that information to manage your relationship with your boss too.

Managing your boss also means - Influencing your boss. And it is worth remembering that there are four major sources of power:

1. Expertise
2. Personality
3. Resources
4. Status

You and your boss will have varied levels of elements present out of the above four sources of power. In many situations, you and your boss might be almost at par except the fourth one.

 you know about yourself, you boss, and your powerbase, you may influence your boss, in following ways:

• Work on Creating Rapport with your boss.
• Nothing succeeds like success, but only if he the boss knows about it. Find ways to inform him/her of your people's achievements and of your own success.
• Make your boss look good - in front of his boss, management, and his teams.
• Do not let yourself or your team be perceived as problem creators, but as problem solvers.
• Set up healthy boundaries, in yours and your team's relationship with your boss.
• Check out with your boss that staff development that you propose is compatible with company culture and your boss's idea.
• Associate closely with your boss on discussions, propose seminars etc - to enable your boss to effectively develop his team and yours, to help him get to his business goals.
• Involve your boss, in your team's development activities and sessions.
• Share the progress reports and other developments in his business environment. Keep him abreast with whatever is happening and impacting business.
• Nurture contacts and relationships with help of your business, and involving him.

I suggest that you closely discuss with your teams and add more action points. Idea is to create a cordial working environment by creating yourself as an extension of your boss. 

After all your and your boss's objectives are same - Get to the Business Objectives.